FINAL DUES

HELL RECRUITMENT DIVISION · AFFILIATE PROGRAMME · EST. MCMXCVI

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HELL IS RECRUITING

We are giving away tickets to Hell. You post about it. That is the entire arrangement, and we have written it down so nobody has to guess.

WHAT YOU RECEIVE

EVERY QUALIFYING APPLICANT	One ticket to Hell, $6.66, at no charge A code. You redeem it, you get a real ticket in your name, entered in the public record like everyone else’s.
FIVE APPLICANTS	The Fast Pass Upgrade, $666.00, at no charge The physical one. A framed shadow box — credential, cut key, certificate, engraved plate — assembled by hand and posted to your door. Five. Chosen by a person, reading.

WHAT WE ASK

One Reel or one TikTok. Yours, your voice, your edit.
Show the ticket. It is the product; a video about us that never shows it is an advertisement for nothing.
Say it is gifted, where people can see it.

AN IDEA, FREELY OFFERED

A ticket to Hell can be bought for somebody else, anonymously. Your terrible landlord. The ex. The man who reclines his seat on a four-hour flight. We are not telling you what to make. We are telling you the feature exists.

THE ONE RULE

Say it is gifted

Say it is gifted. In the caption, before the fold, or out loud in the first few seconds.
Not buried in the hashtags. Not at the bottom behind “more”. The regulator has been explicit about this and so are we.
The word “gifted” is enough. So is “ad”. It costs you nothing and it is the law in the country we are registered in.

We published a page attacking companies that hide things in small grey type. Running an undisclosed campaign would make that page a lie, and the page is better than the campaign.

APPLY

One application per handle. We read them. Most applicants receive the ticket; five receive the package.

Your handle

Without the @. The account that will post.

Where you post

Followers, roughly

An estimate is fine. Small accounts are not at a disadvantage here — we would rather have twenty people who reply to you than a hundred thousand who scroll past.

Where the code goes. Nothing else is ever sent to it.

Why you deserve the $666.00 one

Optional, and the only part that decides the five. Be specific or be funny; being both is not required.

I will disclose that the ticket was gifted, clearly, where it can be seen without tapping “more”.

THE ARRANGEMENT, IN FULL

Cost to you	Nothing. There is no tier, no invoice and no upsell.
What we get	One post. We do not ask for approval rights over it.
Exclusivity	None. Post about whatever else you like.
Deadline	None. This runs until we stop it.
Your data	Handle, follower estimate and email. Never published, never sold, never added to a mailing list.
Disclosure	Required. See above. This is the only condition.

The ticket is $6.66. The package is $666.00. See what you are being given.