Named.Paid.Awaited.

Unsubscribe NYC LLC, by decree of the Church of Conceptual Art, acts strictly as the issuing broker for these passes. Proceeds support the missions of the Church of Conceptual Art. Our singular remaining obligation is the execution of your payment and the issuance of your ticket. Once the transaction clears, your ticket is permanently paid in full. We fulfill the earthly side of this contract with absolute finality.

We do not hold jurisdiction over the final intake procedures at the time of entry. What occurs at the Gates — including processing speeds, secondary audits by spiritual gatekeepers, or queue management — is solely at the discretion of the respective afterlife administration. We cannot, and do not, promise specific operational outcomes once you have passed on.

We guarantee that your ticket is paid for. Whether you possess a cleared ticket upon your arrival or face the intake administration without one is entirely up to you. The destination you select, and the financial weight you apply to it, is your sole responsibility.

A pass may be purchased on behalf of another individual. The obligation is discharged for the named holder, who need not be the payor. The purchaser warrants that they are entitled to submit the holder’s name and delivery address for this purpose. Passes are issued individually; bulk issuance is not available.

A pass is issued to stand. It is not cancellable on request, and no refund is issued under any circumstance; all sales are final. The Administration reserves the sole discretion to cancel an issued pass — on public inquiry, or where reasonable and valid goodness requires it. This is rare, is exercised only in exceptional instances, and is never available on demand. A cancellation does not amend the record: the entry recording the pass is permanent, is never removed, and its hash is unchanged by the cancellation, which is added alongside it and is itself public. A holder who wishes to secure the other destination may purchase that pass in addition; the existing pass remains in force regardless.

The Fast Pass Upgrade is the only article sold here that is manufactured and shipped. It is made to order and cannot be restocked, which is why it is not returnable. The credential is engraved with the name supplied at checkout; that name can be corrected only until the engraving is cut, and a correction must be requested at the support address on the day the order is placed. Shipping is included and tracked, to the countries offered at checkout. Production and delivery ordinarily take two to three weeks; that is an estimate made in good faith and not a guaranteed date. Risk passes on delivery to the address given. If an order arrives damaged or does not arrive at all, write to the support address and it will be remade or refunded — that is a fulfilment failure, not a change of mind, and it is the one circumstance in which money is returned on this lane.

While capitalism holds weight in the hereafter, earthly regulatory bodies require us to state that these passes are distributed as conceptual art objects. They do not constitute legally binding contracts with any recognized terrestrial religious institution, and confer no rights, goods or services in the next life. The Fast Pass Upgrade is the exception in one earthly respect only: it is a physical article, and the tangible goods described at the point of sale — the credential, the key set, the certificate and the frame — are really made and really posted to you. What that article represents remains a conceptual art object. All sales are final, both in this life and the next.